Future Unknown

This semester is the start of the end for me.  Ok maybe that’s an over-dramatization, it is just my senior year of college, but when peppered with questions like “what are your plans for after college?”, I can’t help the freak out that comes with not knowing.  To put this in perspective, I’m the most comfortable about my future when I have a plan.  I may have come into college unsure of what I wanted to major in but at least I had a plan to follow. I wanted to continue in Architecture and there were plans for other majors if I had chose to switch.  Now looking out at the vast opportunities for life after college I can’ help but to feel a bit overwhelmed and daunted by a future that can’t be planned or foreseen.  I realize that a good portion of professionals don’t work in the same field as what they majored in and I’m not really worried about that.  I just worry because I keep asking myself “how do I get to a point where I love what I’m doing if I don’t know where to start?”

So instead of dealing with this grappling thus far I’ve run the other way and ignored the problem and that’s not working.  Time to try something new; accepting that right now it’s okay to not have the answers.  Yes the deadlines for graduate school are quickly approaching with the end of the semester and life continues to move and I have no choice but to move with it.  So I’m accepting that I’m confused and unsure about my future as of now.  I’m instead going to focus on fully enjoying all of the wonderful things in my life- my friends, my family, my classes- with the knowledge that with some creative wandering, hard work, and passion I will end up where I need to be.  Do I still have freak out moments where I can’t help but question where I’m going with my life? Yes, but I don’t let these moments overwhelm me because they’re generally the fault of bad days (and no matter what, I’ll have those once in a while).  As I taught one of my Italian friends this last spring, I’m taking “baby steps” towards the only thing that is clear right now, graduation.  I may not know where I’m going after that, but I know that with enthusiasm, determination, and the loving support of my family and friends I’ll figure something out, and that’s good enough for now.

(can you tell today was a good day?)

-Alexa