2015
Welcome! Welcome! Welcome!
To those friends I have yet to meet,
Coming to the U as a freshman I knew that joining a faith community was a priority for me. I grew up in an incredible church and was eager to find a place for me here at school. Throughout my freshman year I dabbled in different faith groups, never finding somewhere that I really fit.
Transitioning to college is already difficult, as you begin to find out how to balance a more independent life, and I was hungry for a strong community of faith. I longed for a place where I was comfortable but challenged and growing at the same time. My first encounter with LCM was during the spring of my freshman year but due to my job I was not able to really get plugged in. However, my brief encounter inspired me to really commit to getting involved that coming fall. One of the first nights I attended Pause I tried to slide quietly into a pew near the back. My plan to not be noticed was foiled by an amazing student name Heidi as she quickly plopped down next to me and before I knew it, we had exchanged numbers with plans to get coffee. Simply connecting with Heidi made me feel noticed and valued as a member of the LCM community.
For me, LCM stands out among groups as there is a strong emphasis on authenticity, on curiosity and on building relationships rooted in faith. The folks that make up LCM are some of the most welcoming, kind-hearted, passionate, and inspiring people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing and I’ve truly found my fit. Could LCM be where you fit too? Come connect with us and let us discover one another’s stories. 🙂
I’ll be keeping an eye out for you, like Heidi did for me…
Emily Mentz
2015
A Word on Charleston
I’m someone who, though I love words (oh do I love words) routinely feels like words can’t get at the immensity of the situation. I often feel like this when talking about God, strange as that may be for a preacher to say.
I definitely felt like this after I heard the news about Charleston.
I was particularly turned off by the performative posting happening on my Facebook feed, and was internally struggling with what it meant to stay silent in our social media infused world versus contributing to the frenetic buzz that followed Charleston (and seems to have been quickly replaced by posts about Father’s Day).
I was both comforted and challenged by my colleague in Houston, Brad Fuerst’s post:
- You get caught up into a visceral divine compassion when the pain of others has a purchase on your life. IMHO maybe set aside the opportunistic punditry. For now, set aside the quibbling over semantics. Set aside platforms and broken agendas and finger pointing and conjecture…for as long as it takes to be tuned into God’s sweet and painful song of compassion. This, I think, might be what the pained and grieving and accused need most from you now: to listen…with compassion…with your heart.
I, too, decided to stay silent.
Instead I’ve been listening, to the still small voice in me that I trust is Spirit, and to some very thoughtful pieces that have been posted. I’ve been talking with those I love and respect, but mostly just praying. Because I feel sad. So sad. And I feel paralyzed. And hopeless. And angry.
If you haven’t yet watched John Stewart’s commentary a day after the shooting, please take a look. And then read Bishop Eaton’s message to the ELCA.
Racism is indeed a gaping wound in this country that refuses to heal, and that we pretend doesn’t exist. It is a structural sin, and we who are complicit need to renounce that sin. It’s present in our church in so many ways. This young man’s family is a part of an ELCA church. It’s present in white lives in so many ways.
We have work to do, brothers and sisters. I have work to do.
I differ with John Stewart on one point, and that is his hopelessness. I watch the way Mother Emmanuel church is responding – the way the black church is responding – and I find hope in their witness. Forgiveness and Justice Seeking happening hand in hand. I’ll take my cues from them, and encourage you to do the same.
When one of us suffers, we all suffer. And when one of us experiences healing, so do we all. Let that admonition from Paul be our sustenance and guide in these days.
When the frentic posting has stopped, that’s when our long, slow work towards healing begins. Listen. Pray. Simmer. Get angry. Stay focused. Talk to people you know and respect, especially people of color. Keep your eyes open for ways to act, and then do it.
We are the only hands and feet and beating heart that Christ has on this earth. Let’s use ours to the glory of God, for the reconciliation of God’s people, and the healing of God’s good earth.
May it be so.
Pastor Kate
2015
Chipped Vessels
I recently traveled to the ecumenical monastic community in Taize, France (called “Taize”) with LCM’s small student vision team. This community is fascinating for a number of reasons; it’s most known for it’s contemplative worship and music, and it’s also a point of pilgrimage for hundreds if not thousands of young adults across the world EACH week. Most interesting and inspiring to me, however, is its inception as a place of reconciliation –a community born in a call to respond to the Jewish refugee crisis in 1940 – and the way that community lives out it’s call to reconciliation now.
One of the ways the brothers of Taize support this ministry is by selling pottery. I purchased this beautiful blue chalice and paten (cup and plate) to be used for communion, and shared by LCM and the community of Grace University Lutheran Church (see above). All sorts of beautiful metaphors were stirring in my mind. And then, despite carrying it on, and lugging it on trains, buses and planes, on the way home it chipped. Which was deeply disappointing to me. After some thought, however, I decided to save the plate, and use it anyway.
What a more fitting tribute to our shared humanity, our brokenness as individuals, and the way we are gathered together as Christ’s body.
Our community at LCM has long prided itself as being a place of theological and political diversity, and this year we struggled with how to live that out. There was some discord, and some division, We are, as humans and human community, almost always in need of reconciliation. We own that.
And we also proclaim that it’s into those chipped vessels, those broken places, and those cracks that God’s light shines, with power and purpose.
The team of students that traveled to Taize was called by their peers to explore a Christian community different than our own. They were also charged with bringing back and integrating those learnings into our community. After we left Taize, we spent a good chunk of our (one!) day in Paris reflecting on our year as a community, and what we might bring back so that LCM can continue growing into a thriving, generative community that bears witness to God’s love on campus.
We talked for a long time about theological diversity, what it means to claim a particular theology and still make room for difference, how we’re all (as in ALL of us) still figuring out how to do that well, and how we can to that better in the coming year. Going into our broken places is hard, and without this trip, I doubt we would have had time and space for this conversation.
We don’t yet have the answers, but again, Taize may have something to teach us. When asked about their mission of reconciliation and how they live that out, Brother Emille said that they “trust, and pray.” While that honestly seemed to be a bit naïve to me at first, when faced with our own situation it seems like the best way to proceed; trusting in God and our community that we’ll work together to bind up the broken pieces, and rooting ourselves in prayer as our starting point. I pray that it’s as simple, and as complicated, and as deep as that.
In Anthem, Leonard Cohen croons,
“Ring the bell
that still can ring.
Forget
Your perfect offering.
There is a crack
A crack
In everything.
That’s how the light gets in.
That’s how the light gets in.
This chip, this crack, in our paten/plate will continue to remind me of our time at Taize, and our striving to experience reconciliation. In the meantime, we also trust and pray that God shows up in our cracks, shining so much light and beauty and hope into our lives, into your lives, and into this world.
May it be so.
Pastor Kate
2015
Vision Team Announced!
Vision Team Announced!
- explore a Christian community in a context very different than our own, and then
- integrate that learning into our community as it shifts and grows and changes year by year.
2014
Celebrating Student Discipleship!
(a few of our student leaders at leadership training in August of 2013)
Lutheran Campus Ministry-Twin Cities has long been committed to cultivating faithful leaders for both church and world. We are excited to announce that we have been awarded a 5 year, $100,000 grant from the Lilly Endowment to deepen and strengthen our leadership development and vocational discernment work with undergraduate students at the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities.[1]
This initiative, the Theological Exploration of Vocation for Campus Ministries Initiative 2013, invited 30 campus ministries from various denominations across the country to apply for funding to “build up their capacities to play a more prominent role in identifying and nurturing a new generation of highly talented and religiously committed leaders for church and society.” We are very excited to be a part of this cohort, to learn and discern together how we might nurture young adults to lead faithfully in the 21st Century.
Our particular project, The Discipleship Project will deepen and expand leadership opportunities for a core team of students, equip them as teachers of LCM-TC’s central faith practices, and will give them opportunities to share this learning with students and throughout the church.
This grant is significant because of the way it encourages and supports our work with student leaders (and through them the campus). It does not replace any of our current funding needs, rather enhances our ability to train leaders in a more robust way. In that, it highlights the importance of leadership in fundraising, governance, and strategic decision making as we stretch and grow on campus, and in the communities these students will impact.
The Board of Directors of Lutheran Campus Ministry-Twin Cities is honored to have its ministry recognized by the Lilly Endowment and welcomes Lilly as a partner in the great work God is already doing on the campus of the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities. As we continue learning, it is our hope that we can also share the work that we are doing with the broader church, and invite others into sharing God’s boundless love with the world.
For more information, or to see the executive summary, please contact Campus Pastor Kate Reuer Welton by emailing kate@umnlutheran.org.
[1] Please see Lilly’s Website for a full press release: http://www.lillyendowment.org/pdf/LillyEndowment11-25-2013PressRelease.pdf
2012
Everything that has been done in the world has been done by hope.
I saw this quote, attributed to Martin Luther, on a bookmark when I was in graduate school. Whether or not Martin Luther said it, I think it’s true. Advent is approaching, and last night we talked about dreaming and hoping and holding your head up to keep watch for God’s New Day even, or especially, amidst the suffering that so many of us witness or experience.
I asked the students to write down their wildest and craziest hopes for themselves and/or for the world – forgetting any kind of practicalities, or any kind of responsibility they might feel towards actualizing this hope. Advent, after all, is a time when we wait actively, dreaming, and trusting that God just might be up to something that is beyond our capacity to make happen.
These were some of their hopes, for themselves, their families and the world they will inherit (there were also a number of drawings that I won’t try to explain):
- that my parents will find peace between each other, and my brother realize how great he will be when he succeeds and that the fighting in darfur ends.
- environmental problems solved! eco tech everywhere! responsible people, open minded people, understanding people. global action to help those in need around the world. willingness, patience to pursue peace – no exceptions. no war. for myself: happiness.
- that each and every individual may know love and peace and that they are loved just as they are. may each of us know joy and be able to express their inner passions fully and deeply. may the weary and lost and lonely find rest. may the still small voice of the Lord resonate in each and every heart as a blessing unto others – friend and stranger.
- that all children of god will know only love – instead of hunger, hopelessness or pain; and that i may be able to use the gifts that God gave me to help meet the world’s need.
- peace. no more wars. people will solve problems by talking and listening. terrorism will be no more. the money going to modern warfare will go to the poor, the sick, and the needy.
- to tread lightly on this earth, to not leave a scar on the world, but to better our home through kindness to one another and the planet. to find a moment of happiness within each day, a simple joy, a reason to smile. to be less concerned with the idea of self and more concerned with the ideas of another. for us to all find inner peace. to share our triumphs, hopes and joys.
- my dream for this world is for every single child to have a positive role model in their life…and for every child to have equal access to education.
- that everyone feels love.
- peace, cooperation and understanding between people of different creeds, religions and nationalities
- be content. live in Jesus’ image.
- when all who hunger are fed
- respect for everyone and everything and through respect, we will have peace.
- to feel adequate. to feel like i can let down my barriers and be loved. to know that i won’t always succeed but to be okay with mediocre.
- a world of love and compassion; where life is respected, adored, and cared for; where no one struggles alone. a live of purpose and above all love. love of the people and by the people in my life, and love for what i am doing.
- inner peace for everyone.
- i dream that one day everyone in the world will see others, appreciate others, and learn from others. i dream that one day people will open their eyes to the world around them and will learn that God’s love is constantly spreading.
2012
the church isn’t dying, it’s pregnant
having grown weary of the commentary on why the church is dying, and what it’s doing wrong, i revisited the question of “who” is the church in a sermon preached at grace university lutheran church on october 21. please read the text for the day from Mark to ground this reflection, and be generous with the reality that a sermon always preaches different than it reads.
For any of you who are on Facebook, you know what happens when something controversial, and public – say like a presidential debate – takes place. Your feed blows up with comments, quotes, people posting links to pictures or pundits that help us laugh, process, and in many cases feel better about our own side.
Now imagine my feed after a recently released study by the Pew Forum on Religious Life. It’s blowing up!
Here’s what it said: The number of Americans who do not identify with any religion continues to grow at a rapid pace. One-fifth of the U.S. public – and a third of adults under 30 – are religiously unaffiliated today, the highest percentages ever in Pew Research Center polling.
In the last five years alone, the unaffiliated have increased from just over 15% to just under 20% of all U.S. adults. Their ranks now include more than 13 million self-described atheists and agnostics (nearly 6% of the U.S. public), as well as nearly 33 million people who say they have no particular religious affiliation (14%).
And so my facebook feed, for the last two weeks, has been blowing up with commentary, mostly from “experts,” who work with young adults or who have successful young adult ministries, telling the church what it is doing wrong. And for some reason, it’s driving me batty. I’ve reached my saturation point, I fear, with all the talk of how the church is dying. It feels a little bit like the Children’s story about Chicken Little, who gets hit on the head with an acorn and pronounces to every animal he meets, “the sky is falling, the sky is falling.”
When this band of animals finally reaches the king, the king picks the acorn out of chicken little’s tuft of hair, and says, “You see, Chicken Little, it was only an acorn and not a piece of the sky. The sky could never fall. Only rain falls from the sky.”
The ones fretting about and foaming about and furiously fixing the state of the church might learn a little bit from this whole exchange. I don’t think the sky is falling. Our God is not a God who would set about killing something that has been so instrumental in doing God’s work in this world. The church is God’s hands and feet and beating heart – the church is god’s body in this world – we are what God has – so let’s start acting like it.
Our god is a God of new things. This is the God that told the Israelites, when they wanted to make him a temple, that “I don’t need a place. I understand that’s what you’re used to, but I am with you everywhere.” This is a god that is found in his people. And when Christ came, he expanded that definition even more, saying that God’s people aren’t limited to a race or to a tribe, but instead that God’s promises exist for all people, and in that promise all are made one. And the early church called this new gathering of God’s people the church.
Every 500 years or so, the church goes through a tremendous upheaval. Cultures collide, and it really might feel like the sky is falling, like the church is in danger of extinction – but it’s not. I have a friend who, in response to this cacophony of commentary, wrote that the church isn’t dying, it’s pregnant. We’re about to give birth to something new, with all of the discomfort and anxiety and expectation and fear and hope that accompanies pregnancy. And I think that’s so exciting…
Because what this newness means is a whole lot of letting go. It means for sure that we have to let go of re-creating the church of the 1950’s, or the 1960’s, when buildings were popping up everywhere and the suburbs were growing and highways were connecting our country and our churches were exploding with people. We have to let go of church as the place where you go because you’re supposed to, and because that’s what people expect of you. We have to let go of church as the place that grants you power in a political, or social, or cultural way. That version of the church, for all of its good, bad and ugly, is passing away.
And together, with God, we are giving birth to something new. I think our scripture today might have something to say to that.
Whoever wants to be great must become a servant. Whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave. That is what the Son of Man has done: He came to serve, not to be served—and then to give away his life in exchange for many who are held hostage.”
The images of Christian life that we receive from scripture, the instructions Jesus gives to his disciples, over and over and over again – especially in Mark – is that we are called to the margins of our culture, where people are isolated, lost, alone. We are called to the mourning, the sick, the poor. We are called into service and sacrifice. And when we move into Acts, we find that the church isn’t located in buildings made for thousands of people. The church is comprised of small gatherings, meeting in homes, to be in community with one another, breaking bread, reading scripture, praising God, collecting offerings for the orphan and widow, and then going out to be in relationship with, to serve, the orphan and widow.
This is the church, and this is our call. This is our opportunity to be god’s hands and feet and beating heart. Now I’m not arguing for some throwback to the first century – I honestly think that’s a little naïve. Instead I think we’re being called by God, and led by the Holy Spirit, into something new, messy as it may be. And I think this break from cultural familiarity, this break from social expectation, this emerging counter-cultural nature of Christianity gives us a new and incredible freedom.
We gather to worship, pray, eat and serve. We gather to learn from scripture what it means to be disciples, to support one another as we shed cultural notions of what success looks like, and practice living lives of service, sacrifice and commitment to something beyond ourselves. We gather to know and to be known, to love and be loved; by God, yes, but also by the community that Christ calls together. And as we share in Holy Communion, we are gathered together, and then sent out to be God’s hands and feet and beating heart in this world. That’s not death friends, that’s abundant life.
So whether you’re a proud card carrying lifer in the Lutheran church, or whether you’re just checking out this church thing for the first time; know that there change a foot. But also know that this change doesn’t mean death. God loves God’s people. God loves each one of you so much, and in Christ promises that you are forgiven, healed, and then set free to live abundantly, to seek out community, to extend the reach of this church beyond the boundaries of our culture and tribe, beyond numbers in Pew Research forum surveys, beyond any limitations we might put on God or the church. You are set free to be midwives, with God, in the birthing of this new chapter of what it means to God’s people.
2012
The Blessings…
Please see our blog post for the first round of blessings, and for background on where these blessings came from: http://umnlutheran.wordpress.com/2012/09/12/where-there-is-hatred-let-us-sow-love/
And now the blessings….from students on Northrup Mall, to/for people who are targets of hate (and who were particularly being targeted by a hate-full Christian preacher):
- All who find yourself on the margins of our society and church, know that God loves you, mo matter who you are, where you come from, what has happened to you, or what you have done. God made you the way you are, and He loves you just as you are. You are loved.
- God loves you! God called you out by name and claimed you as his child. PS. YOU ARE AWESOME!!!
- Prayers for all the people targeted by brother jed today and foever. God loves everyone just the way he or she is.
- God’s unconditional love shines down on everyone – especially you. Keep your faith. YOU ARE LOVED.
- You Are Loved
- Be with those who feel distant or scorned today. Help them to seek comfort in your arms, Lord.
- To the GLBT folks out there. Keep fighting the right fight!
- You are wonderful. You are purposed. You are loved. You are you. Stay You!!!
- There are many different faces, shapes, and sizes; but love has no boundaries.
- You are loved. Never forget that. You are loved and important.
- I would like to bless the GLBTQ community, and pray that they know not all “Christians” are hateful and angry.
- God loves you no matter what. God loves you just as you are. He is always with you. Take heart and know that you are loved. Always and forever.
- You are worthy.
- You are a child of God – Jesus loves you!
- Don’t forget that you are love. you are loved.
- God loves us all just as we are.
- God bless all who need it. Women, GLBTQ persons, poor, the hungry, the sick. Let them know THEY ARE LOVED.
- You are loved. No matter what. You are brave and strong. God loves us all.
- I pray that you always have hope in God.
- You are so very loved and cherished. Your entire self, no ifs ands or buts. Continue to be a beautiful light in this world.
- You are not alone, but deeply and wonderfully loved. No matter what you do or say or look like. You are loved.
- You are God’s and that means you are always LOVED. No matter what.
- You are a beautiful child of God.
- God is with you. And he loves you always.
- The God i know loves and cares for you. You may come as you are, a beautiful child of God, and meet my God (if you haven’t already) in prayer. God Bless.
- Be hopeful. Be happy. Be proud. Be you. Because you are loved.
- God loves everyone. No exceptions.
- I pray that members of the GLBT community may feel God’s love and the love of those around them who accept them as they are.
- God’s grace is for all people. God chose you! You are loved.
- God loves you.
- You are perfect! God made you!
- I pray for anyone that has been labeled a “heathen” that they may know that there is a place where they are loved – that Jesus loved all – no exceptions.
- You are special. You are loved. You are perfect. God’s love is infinite.
- “Just the way you are” -bruno mars
- love to all
- You are a miracle, and were born from love.
- May your heart remain forever loved.
- I pray that everyone knows that God loves them, no matter what.
- Stay Strong. Not everyone is like him. LOVE!
- I don’t know if God(S) exist, but if it does, i think it would love all of its creation. You are worthy and deserving of love and respect. Never ever forget this.
- You are BEAUTIFUL!
- God loves you. Screw anyone who says that he doesn’t, because they’d be wrong.
- Bless everyone called evil today.
- Long life, pleasant dreams, and all the love you can stand.
- Peace and love to you…
- Forever be beautiful. Forever be be you. Be yourself!
- You are amazing!
- Don’t believe them. You are AMAZING!
- Hashem loves ALL children! White, black, man, woman, gay, straight…
- I hope discrimination and hatred towards all groups will end someday.
- May you never doubt the presence of those who love you.
- Love is all you need!
- love is love and belongs to everyone!
- I pray blessings upon my self.
- No one deserves hate for whatever reason, God bless you for being in this position and stay strong.
- A blessing to all people, regardless of faith, sexuality, race, gender and other superficial factors that some choose to divide us with.
- I love and respect you.
- I hope you learn that hatred is not because of religion.
- You are beautiful and strong. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
- Peace to the Queer community. I’m proud to be a part of it.
- I pray that all people, gay, straight and anyone share the same love and same rights.
- You are beautiful people and you deserve to choose how you live no matter who you are! We love you! -Kelly and Jennifer
- God bless! Don’t worry about what anyone says! Love, Samantha
- You are beautiful. I accept you.
- Smile! Jesus loves you!
- Love!
- God has loved, is loving, and will always love the whole world.
- God loves everyone even when they don’t love him. God knows everyone even when they don’t know him. God bless us ALL. Amen.
- You are equal. You are amazing. That’s it.
- We can’t stop hate, but we can spread love. And I love you all!
- Jesus loves gay people and all of us should too! I LOVE MY GLBT FRIENDS!
- Not everyone is a hater!
- I pray that everyone knows that God loves them, no matter what!
- God loves everyone. No exceptions.
- Jesus loves you as you are.
- No one deserves hate. Let’s love!
- My thoughts and love go out to all the women here!
And blessings for Brother Jed:
- I will never be convinced that you would love me, a gay Lutheran, but that is okay, because I love you and I pray for God to ever hold you and keep you. Blessings to you.
- I pray that the negativity leave your soul. God Bless.
AMEN!
2012
dance then, wherever you may be…
i am the lord of the dance said he, and i’ll lead you all wherever you may be, and i’ll lead you all in the Dance said he.
This week was a long week for all of us. We’ve been stretching and growing and we were getting tired. We also had the complicated nature of Brother Jed’s visit to campus, where hate was preached and vitriol spread. Our students stood faithfully each day, with signs saying “God loves you,” and “Where there is hatred let us sow love,” and “Do you believe in a God of love? So do we.” And this was exhausting, whether in the sunshine or in the rain, we consistently heard the language of our religion being twisted and turned into something ugly.
And then Friday came, and with it BLOCK PARTY 2012. We listed to phenomenal music, welcomed exhausted dental students, people whose children were in the hospital, plenty of students we’d never met. A unicyclist clapped hands with two Muslims on either side of him, students who had just met, and others who had known each other for four years threw their heads back as we sang about being the change we wished to see in the end. As the crowd thinned towards the end, and Agape’s performance started to feel like a house concert of sorts, with the remnant of 30 or so that remained, and then we started dancing. We jumped around and waved our hands and felt the catharsis of the love of God being breathed through music and laughter and a shared understanding that ours was a God of love.
The work of witnessing to a God of love, to Dancing, to living that Love out in our lives is hard, and sometimes exhausting work. But it is also the root of our joy. It’s why we dance. It’s why we laugh. It’s how we can love abundantly and often. It’s why we return to the lord of the Dance.
2012
Where there is hatred, let us sow love….
A man named Brother Jed was on campus today. He was preaching hatred and damnation as the way we know that God is love. He called women whores, and used language that rivaled Westboro Baptist to demean the GLBTQA community. The list of people going to hell, included these people, as well as Muslims, Jews, (the very broad category of) foreigners…among others.
We expected this, and while not wanting to give him too much of our energy, thought it was important to have a religious presence, and a visible message of God’s love, right next to his vitriol.
We also wanted students passing by to have a chance to act positively, and faithfully, in response to the feelings he stirred up in everyone. We encouraged students passing by to write blessings for the people who were targets of his hatred. This is some of what they wrote:
- I pray that all people, gay, straight and anyone share the same love and same rights.
- You are beautiful people and you deserve to choose how you live no matter who you are! We love you! -Kelly and Jennifer
- God bless! Don’t worry about what anyone says! Love, Samantha
- You are beautiful. I accept you.
- Smile! Jesus loves you!
- Love!
- God has loved, is loving, and will always love the whole world.
- God loves everyone even when they don’t love him. God knows everyone even when they don’t know him. God bless us ALL. Amen.
- You are equal. You are amazing. That’s it.
- We can’t stop hate, but we can spread love. And I love you all!
- Jesus loves gay people and all of us should too! I LOVE MY GLBT FRIENDS!
- Not everyone is a hater!
- I pray that everyone knows that God loves them, no matter what!
- God loves everyone. No exceptions.
- Jesus loves you as you are.
- No one deserves hate. Let’s love!
- My thoughts and love go out to all the women here!
And blessings for Brother Jed:
- I will never be convinced that you would love me, a gay Lutheran, but that is okay, because I love you and I pray for God to ever hold you and keep you. Blessings to you.
- I pray that the negativity leave your soul. God Bless.
AMEN!