Clare’s Story of Joy

I don’t think anyone will disagree when I say Joy is found in the little things in life. It is witnessing the golden sun setting in a parking lot after a long day. It is receiving a kiss on the cheek from my dad while we cook dinner. It is singing my favorite song in the car on the way to see my favorite people.

This is obvious to me now, but it wasn’t always so clear. I was very ambitious when I was young, and I put a lot of pressure on myself to do well in school. I was adamant that I would get a PhD in astrophysics from Yale one day, and that required me to put my head down in my studies today and every day until then. My daily schedule was school, a few hours of extracurriculars, dinner, homework, sleep. As much as I thought I was having fun, because there are many fond memories, this lifestyle did not make me Joyful. But then my time in high school was very abruptly cut short by Covid-19.

As with everyone, this was not a Joyful time, but a long and hollow time. For the first time since I was a child, no one expected anything of me for hours at a time, something I acknowledge was a privilege, but I spent much of that time wandering my neighborhood searching for something to do. There was much to grieve in that space, and I painfully learned how precious those little Joys really were, because they certainly weren’t promised to me. Still, even in those lonely times, I still watched the sun set, I still cooked dinner with my dad, and I still sang in the car. They were just a little bit harder to appreciate, but it was through those Joys that I was able to piece some semblance of who I was without all the expectations.

I did not grow up religious, nor did anyone in my family and I’m still not fully comfortable talking about God and Jesus in such big and grand terms in my own life. However, I have come to feel that these little Joys is God speaking to me. Mostly, His message is to slow down, to savor the life I’ve been given, even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable. Sometimes, those moments remind me of those who cannot afford to savor it, at least not for very long, for those who must keep working to eat, or for those who have lost so much that savoring feels impossible.

When I think about my mission or calling, I almost always come back to this – Joy. In my own life, I have let go of many of my prescribed ambitions of success and have instead been taking things one step at a time, keeping these little Joys in mind. But God calls me to go further than that, to bring Joy to those around me, either by sharing in celebration or by providing relief from burdens.

At the end of the day, I think that’s why I keep coming back to LCM despite my background. This community of people has helped connect this calling of mine into a tangible life purpose by bringing Joy to everyone we can, through kindness, service, and love. I may not be able to say much about God’s purpose for us on earth, but I hope that everyone may stop and enjoy the sunset every once and awhile.