2014
Midterms and Good Courage
It seems like just last week I was settling into the back row of my lecture hall ready to breeze through syllabus week, but joke’s on me because here we are at week EIGHT of the semester; holy cow did time fly! Between classes, work, study groups, PAUSE!, and late nights at the library, the semester has hit almost the halfway point and I feel as if I haven’t yet had a chance to take a breath. Everyone says that each year you’re at college, the time goes faster and faster, and I couldn’t agree more. Contributing to the chaos of this semester are the impending and exciting thoughts in the back of my mind about studying abroad this spring. In January I will be heading to Sydney, AUSTRALIA for the entire semester! I am beyond thrilled but also a bit nervous, and a lot sad to be leaving everyone on campus. Things for me this year have really clicked, and it’s hard to envision myself away from the wonderful community I am a part of at the U.
As I sat down at Pause last week, my head swimming with these thoughts and of things I needed to do; start to study for my midterm TOMORROW, finish my chemistry problem set, go to office hours, and most importantly call my mom, I found it a bit difficult to concentrate on nothing, as I like to do at Pause. I find it a great time to sit back, clear my head, listen to the music and the sermon, and just BE.
But this last week I had trouble even clearing my head for a minute. As I sat there stressing, thinking about everything I needed to get done and everything people were counting on me to do, I found myself feeling a bit hopeless and just plain exhausted.
My evening took a turn however when we gathered to sing the Prayer of Good Courage to Dana, a student leader leaving to study in Israel for the semester (how cool!). As we sang to Dana I was struck by the words of the prayer in a way I hadn’t been before. I found myself relating to the prayer quite well; feeling like everyone was singing to me, (even though I was obviously not the star of this show!)
I saved the sermon with the prayer on it, brought it home, and tacked it on my bulletin board, in the most visible place from my desk. I invite you to read it too:
O God, you have called us
To ventures where we cannot see the end
By paths never yet taken
Through perils unknown
Give us good courage
Not knowing where we go
To know that your hand is leading us
Wherever we might go
Amen.
Looking at this prayer daily, even if only for a quick glance, has renewed my energy and faith in myself and in my semester. It has made me realize that it’s not always the big things that we could pray for courage for. We could ask God for courage to face an impending exam, a troubled relationship, or a venture across the world, and He will listen- no matter what! In a time of stress and exhaustion, this prayer spoke to me and encourages me daily to put my faith in God, His timing, and his will to lead me and guide me to wherever it is I am supposed to be.
I hope it speaks to you! -Lauren Zima
2014
The Retreat!
It has been 2 weeks since the retreat, and I am back into barely having time to eat, sleep or pee. I am very excited to graduate soon and restore order that factors in being able to simply BE with God. When 3 classes, 3 practicum theatre credits, a senior project, two jobs, and a substantial social life leave me gasping for air trying to find time to breathe, I find myself chanting 2 MORE MONTHS internally. Part of me wishes I had the will to slow down and spread out the last year of my college experience another semester, but most of me is desperate and excited to be done. Pretty much every aspect of my life is going to be up in the air after I graduate. I am not sure where I’ll live, what I’ll do, if my relationship will carry on through the transitions…what I do know is that I have a lot of options which is something to be grateful for. I am waiting to hear back about a job as a flight attendant, and if I do not receive that job I will move to L.A. to continue acting and modeling, hopefully on a larger scale. If I DO get the Delta Airlines job, I might be based in a Spanish-speaking country, but I would begin in January with 2 months of training in Atlanta. For now I am focusing on completing my degree and enjoying my blessings. The retreat reminded me that moments of peace turn out to be the best moments of life. Many people describe their goals as “I want to do this…” “I want to go here…” “I want to buy this…” My goal is to reach a point of stability where I can sit. I want to sit. That’s all. Idleness allows me to eagerly respond to and embrace opportunities that come my way. Today was a beautiful day–t shirt weather if you’re out moving in the world. My boyfriend Sam, my dog Tigger, and I walked down by the river, and then we (the 3) went to a sushi place. Remembering Sabbath and taking rest rejuvenated me and I feel ready, although not eager, for another busy week. Little things help me persevere through this crazy schedule and daunting amount of responsibility of completing my degree. The Holy Spirit taps me on the shoulder during rushing bicycle rides to say, “Hey! Look at the trees. Aren’t the changing colors magnificent? Isn’t God’s glorious creation wonderful?” A thoughtful friend sends me a funny picture to bring me down to earth from the constant feeling that I am fighting my own battle. Random communications from family and friends remind my that although my story has a lot to it right now, I am not alone, and everyone else has their own story too. This sensation of realizing how tiny you are, and how all the tiny details that apply to your life; Every other person of the billions has that many tiny details wrapped up inside them as well: that’s called sonder. The feeling of sonder overwhelms me as I am remembering all these times I have to be many places to do many things and I see so many people around me on this bustling campus with the same robotic agenda. I think about how unnatural it is to be expected to be at the same place, at the same time, every other day for weeks. Not exactly a huge burden or obstacle to triumph over, no. But considering how fluid our minds and moods and bodies are, and how they are constantly responding to infinite changes in the world around us…isn’t it pretty wacky how we all have such strictly mapped calendars? I gotta say, I don’t think God planned for humanity to behave in this way. He made sun-up and sundown, and we’ve over evaluated those guidelines and calculated them down to the markers known as seconds. I remember a time I planned out going to this dance at school in high school. I had a set group of girls, I knew what I was going to wear, etc. When the dance was approaching, I thought to myself, “I don’t really FEEL like going to a dance right now.” I followed that instinct and stayed home and played keyboard by myself in my basement. It might sound silly that I chose that activity that I can really do anytime when I have free time over going to a dance that would only happen once, but I don’t really regret it. I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Seems like the natural order to me. Our bodies and brains can be mediums for God to use to speak to us. If we are feeling tired, God is saying, “Get some rest.” If we get a cold, God is saying, “You are over-expending yourself. Cut back.” If we feel stuffed, God is saying “You are being gluttonous.” If we feel ashamed, God is saying, “That was not the right thing to do.” The problem is most people have their life set on overdrive and don’t have the time, patience, or awareness to hear these calls from God. The retreat, and any time I can find a sense of retreat within my life are the times when I can get reconnected with hearing God’s voice. http://vimeo.com/user7278324/sonder
2014
Faith in Hong Kong
Dear everybody,
I’m away from the LCM community this semester, taking my adventures abroad to Hong Kong! I’m really enjoying my time here and I’m learning a lot about myself and what it’s like to be a Christian here. One of my highest priorities coming here was to find a Christian community that will help me grow in my relationship with God. Surprisingly, finding a Christian community is not the hard part- finding one in English is! There are at least 4 Christian groups at the university I am studying at, Hong Kong University of Science and Technology (HKUST). One Catholic, one for Mainland students in Mandarin, one for locals in Cantonese, and Campus Crusade for Christ (known as CCC here, Cru in the U.S.) which is mostly in Cantonese but has a 3-yr-old English sub-division called Agape. So I joined Agape! Agape has about half local students, half international students, many of whom are exchange students from the U.S.
The most striking thing about Christians here is their commitment to their faith. They are very willing to share their faith with others, which is much needed at HKUST. Students at HKUST often get caught up pursuing grades and GPA and success at whatever cost. Many base their lives around their ability to perform on tests. This manifests itself in a high suicide rate which just breaks my heart. Students here are so smart and have so many wonderful opportunites, but aren’t given the support that they need due to the culture that places so much weight on certain ideas of success. I aim to learn from my friends in Agape how to spread God’s love at HKUST and to inspire others to work for a higher purpose.
I also joined a fellowship group (not related to HKUST) for undergraduates and recently-graduated young adults. Last night, the topic of our discussion was the Occupy Central and Student Protests that have been taking place over the last 2 weeks. The movement started with student boycott of classes at the major universities in HK to protest a recent ruling by the CCP regarding the election process of HK’s chief executive. My university participated in the boycott, but had lower participation rates than other universities. Last Friday, protests escalated when police used pepper spray to try to dissolve a protest. In response, the Occupy Central pro-democracy group and many other citizens joined the students. The protests continued for a few more days, but have since lessened with the promise of talks between HK’s current chief executive, CY Leung, and the student groups. Until last night, when it re-escalated as pro-Beijing citizens, fed up with the pro-democracy protests, violently attacked protesters still assembled at one of the sites. Now, I’m avoiding those areas and waiting for what is next.
Our discussion was about whether it is right, as Christians, to participate in the protests and Occupy Central movement. It was an interesting discussion, as the fellowship members were a diverse group all with varying backgrounds: local students, international students, exchange students and expats here for work. Some supported the pro-democracy protests, some didn’t, and some (like me) felt they didn’t have a say in the matter. But what we concluded was that we must proceed by what we feel is right. As Christians, we are supposed to obey the laws, except in cases of injustice (Isaiah 1:17). If HKers feel the law is unjust, and many do, then it is okay to participate in peaceful protest. One thing we all absolutely agreed on was that the protest must remain peaceful. We concluded by praying for all parties involved and that a peaceful solution can be found.
Finally, I just wanted to let you all know that I am safe and far away from the affected areas. Hong Kong is usually a very safe and peaceful place and it makes me sad to see violence here. I feel like this is my second (third? fourth? I’ve lost track) home!
Much love,
Emily